Radio Diatribe

I was just listening to The Best Show With Tom Scharpling from September 16th on iTunes, and at the 1h59m58s mark, someone claiming to be “Michael” from Waterloo, a football player in his second year originally of Hamilton, calls in. (You can try narrowing it down to one person, if you like.)

So, there is exactly one person who is cool enough to know who Tom Scharpling is at UW, and that person is a football player from Hamilton?

What the fuck is this?

Mr. and Mrs. Joker Face on Cogeco.ca

Mr. and Mrs. Joker Face on LITE-ON’s coporate web site

Mr. and Mrs. Joker Face on Zip.ca

One fake stock image couple, three different web sites. What is the allure of this couple? Is it the freaky joker face the fake husband has, is it the weird uncomfortableness that permeates the room in these pictures, or is it the white couch? (note: a woman who owns a white couch is most probably a neat freak - read an insufferable, passive-aggressive, psycho bitch with multiple DSM-IV Axis II disorders)

Did you know Spike Jonze, the guy who used to be Sofia Coppola’s husband, has a little brother? Well, he has one and the man’s name is Squeak E. Clean. Here’s a nice picture of the two brothers.

Left: Adam Spiegel, a.k.a. Spike Jonze; Right: Sam Spiegel, a.k.a. Squeak E. Clean

Now, some questions arise:

• How in the hell is Squeak E. Clean 27 years old? He looks old enough to have two kids in college.
• How in the hell is Spike Jonze 37 years old? He looks like he just graduated from college. Is he drinking from the same super-secret Scientologist fountain of youth Beck supposedly drinks out of?
• Are they really brothers? Could any two people of the same ethnicity (Jewish) look more different?
• Why did Spike and Sofia Coppola get divorced? Was it because of Cameron Diaz? Was Giovanni Ribisi’s character in Lost in Translation based on Spike? Was Anna Faris’ based on Cameron Diaz? What about Scarlett Johansson? Was her character Sofia?
• Is Spike sore that Sofia, Charlie Kaufmann, and Michel Gondry all won an Oscar, and he has yet to?
• Are they really brothers? I mean, Jesus, look at them.