Radio Diatribe

Will I find it to be really lame next week? We will see.

Discussed in this post:

• “Hostile Acts” by Tad Friend. Published on newyorker.com and presumably also in print.

I was so fucking impressed with this article after I read it for the first time. Who other than a critic for a magazine as sharp as The New Yorker could observe that what Sarah Silverman really does through her offensive jokes is holding a mirror against the audience (metaphorically) and mocking their latent bigoted beliefs (also metaphorically)?

However, at another glance, the article proved to be rather disappointing. Take the last two sentences from the third paragraph counting up from the bottom:

His arrival reveals the fractures in the group—Sarah despises him, and Steve and Brian don’t even bother to be polite—and we realize that all of them are fundamentally loners who grew up in front of the TV. They enjoy bantering, as people on TV do, but they aren’t up for shouldering one another’s burdens.

The article blames the characters’ antisocial predisposition on “gr[owing] up in front of the TV” and being “loners.” This notion is not supported by the rest of the article, nor is it supported by the content of the show (as I watched it). In addition, to my knowledge, there is no scientific proof that this link exists. So in other words, what the fuck?

I want to be a Colombian drug lord. Not just any drug lord, but a Colombian one (with a proper Colombian passport and everything). I guess my next immediate priority is finding me a Colombian wife.

What do they have in common? They are all being hawked on this site through Google AdSense. That’s right; I’ve sold out completely. But, hey, I gotta milk my declining readership (not as many people care whether Sufjan Stevens is gay or not nowadays) before it reaches zero.

And I hate Postal Service even more. Just needed to reiterate that.

Last night, I had the most intense dream in ages. At least, I think I did; I can’t, for the life of me, remember any details.

One thing for sure is that as I woke up, I had this biting desire to hold, hug, smell, and smooch a baby, specifically a son that I’ve fathered. And, this feeling has stayed with me all day.

Confusing though it is (I thought only women had this kind of dreams), I felt strangely happy and uplifted. As I was waiting in line to confirm my psych appointments at Health Services, I wondered whether I should have one of those man-with-a-low-self-esteem-wondering-if-the-world-really-needs-more-losers-like-him crisis, but then I figured I needn’t worry about it; it’s probably just Paxil messing with my mind.

While I feel very happy (only if irrationally so), I get this ominous feeling that a year from now, I will be visiting a nice, professional lesbian couple every month to hold, hug, smell, and smooch my biological son.

God, I really need to switch to a different antidepressant.

But then, saying “I am 29 years old, and, by the way, I have a 7 year old son with this lesbian couple that I know” will sure get the conversations going at white-collar, upper middle class social gatherings. Or, make the room go completely silent.

Aidan Moffat and Malcolm Middleton of Arab Strap are both 32 years old, and this picture is from at least three years ago, which means they would have been at most 29 when this picture was taken.

Peaches (a.k.a. Merrill Nisker) is 38.

What I am trying to say: Aidan Moffat and Malcolm Middleton look way older than they are actually; Peaches looks much younger. Peaches wins?

It appears one Mr. Harry Kim, currently of Toronto, Ontario, has become completely obsessed with exposing my real identity. To aid Harry in his relentless quest to out me, I am creating a whopping CAD 5.00 prize for the first person post my real name, and another walloping mega-prize worth CAD 5.00 for the first person to post a picture of my face.

How to become super-rich:

1. Flame people. (Make sure to plug your blog.)
2. The flamees come to your blog. They click on your Google ads.
3. Profit!

Thanks Dave!

This.

Is this supposed to be news? And that Georgia Straight logo, its placement couldn’t be more ironic.