Who knew being a psycho gets you a car?
Just the other day, my parents offered me a 2007 Volkswagen Rabbit as a ‘graduation gift’ despite the fact that it’s been three years since I’ve graduated from high school, and I won’t be graduating from the university for at least another two years. I am guessing it’s their way of saying “sorry for passing down the psycho genes.”
The lame excuse for a gift aside, it’s quite interesting that they seem completely oblivious to the fact that medications for the very condition the gift is somehow supposed to ameliorate (i.e. being psycho) makes me unfit for driving (you can’t drive if you’re half-asleep pretty much all the time). As we all know, or rather as we the people who are not my parents all know, being half-asleep pretty much all the time does not mix well with driving. More importantly, depression does not mix well driving; just think of all the ways you can commit suicide with a car. I can almost see it now, every badly executed turn and missed signal followed by an ad hoc suicide counselling.
I think I am going to call them in a few days with a carefully rehearsed recounting of a traumatic childhood event to see if I can turn that 2007 Volkswagen Rabbit into a 2007 Volkswagen Jetta.
