Last night, I had the most intense dream in ages. At least, I think I did; I can’t, for the life of me, remember any details.
One thing for sure is that as I woke up, I had this biting desire to hold, hug, smell, and smooch a baby, specifically a son that I’ve fathered. And, this feeling has stayed with me all day.
Confusing though it is (I thought only women had this kind of dreams), I felt strangely happy and uplifted. As I was waiting in line to confirm my psych appointments at Health Services, I wondered whether I should have one of those man-with-a-low-self-esteem-wondering-if-the-world-really-needs-more-losers-like-him crisis, but then I figured I needn’t worry about it; it’s probably just Paxil messing with my mind.
While I feel very happy (only if irrationally so), I get this ominous feeling that a year from now, I will be visiting a nice, professional lesbian couple every month to hold, hug, smell, and smooch my biological son.
God, I really need to switch to a different antidepressant.
But then, saying “I am 29 years old, and, by the way, I have a 7 year old son with this lesbian couple that I know” will sure get the conversations going at white-collar, upper middle class social gatherings. Or, make the room go completely silent.
It was probably the Paxil. So no good excuse to visit the lesbian couple now…
My weirdest dreams have been related to (in order of weirdness production):
Antidepressants
Jet Lag
Altitude Sickness
Fever
Cheese + port just before bedtime (a long way behind the others)
My second weirdest dream ever was giving birth to a red pepper. It really didn’t seem that bad at the time and wasn’t at all gory but for some reason seems to freak people out! OK, it is a bit (very) weird, but you can’t control your dreams. Caused by jet lag.
Any relation between the dream and baby grave photos?